so much to say, don’t know where to begin.
i’d say everything and anything but there’s only so much one could reveal the contents of the mind…and of the heart.
my life took a different turn i never thought it would last Monday. and today’s Sunday; it’s taken another different turn. Life, please stay on course…I can’t take these different routes in this short time span.
being older now, all decisions have to be made carefully. so much to consider…am I doing the right thing? have I made the right choice? Do I still have the chance to choose again?
and it’s my life that I’m deciding for. it shouldn’t concern anyone that much as it does to me.
gah. what do I do, Lord? what should I do…
I hope you’re all having better days.
Always chase your dreams. Try to…
My room is a right mess. And I’ve yet to tidy away my old things (as old as primary books!). It’s been a busy time and I’ve only arrived just over a week ago.
I have memories in this room that I wouldn’t want to forget and those that I wish I could erase sometimes. But I’d like to think that I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for those awkward, unwanted moments. And where I am is quite good.
One memory that seems to jump out on me, reminiscing now, is one where I was still up at stupid o’clock, on the phone with a good friend. It was the early, early morning of my interview with the Ministry of Education all four years ago, and I was still up, prepping for it as well as trying to accompany a lonely friend. I remember it quite distinctly because we were sharing a joke and then in the midst of laughter, I fell halfway inside my opened cupboard. Just looking at my cupboard makes me giggle. Ahhh, funny how things happen. We’re no longer close friends, but merely “facebook friends”.
Friends. I can count my true friends in one hand.
I was looking through my old files last night and I found one I used whilst still in UBD. Inside were notes from the classes I attended; Logic & Thinking, PPA, Sociology-Anthropology, Linguistics…And some were from the hostel orientation days. Ahhh those were some of the best days of my life. Sometimes, I ponder upon the question if I were better off having stayed and studied here instead. But like I said, I wouldn’t be where I am today, where it’s all good.
There’s no harm in remembering. There is harm in not letting go. But some things are better said than never because what’s the point of keeping it all in when you have so much to say? But then again, everything in moderation…everything in moderation :)
Chase your dreams!
P/S: Was browsing through youtube with my little sister and decided to look for a tag with my name. Found a youtube singer with the same name and she’s my age! She’s quite alright, too! Writes her own songs, plays the guitar and is from the UK. Lol, these things make me happy, even though only for awhile.
Three months ago, I was sure that I’d be feeling okay with where life is going for me. Today, I’m not so sure. Serious conversations with my boyfriend about the future have scared me a bit. While he has another two years of studying, I will have to venture into the world of employment in a couple of months. In all honesty, I do not mind looking for a job and working, but what I do mind is that I’m not sure what I want to do. And that is a very annoying thought.
I know roughly where I want to be, and this roughly-thought-of place also includes my itch to continue my studies even further. There is another annoying thing with that, which is, I don’t know what I’d like to research on. The best advice the Internet can give me (which I’ve already thought of) is to have work experience first, which will then inspire me for a research subject. I just hope it is a do-able prospect within 3-5 years?
Time flies when you’re having fun. I’ve enjoyed the three years of undergraduate studies, and another year of postgraduate. I’d like to place my face in books, do research and write important findings for a living. But I dread teaching. Hah. Oh well, we shall see :)
Chase your dreams, my lovelies!