working alone vs working in a team

I like working alone sometimes because then I’d be the only one I could be disappointed in if I screwed something up. I also like working in a team because it’s double the feeling of accomplishment when it’s a team effort. It’s also a double blow if we fail because that way, everyone, hopefully, will taste the humility pill. I realize that sometimes the things that I’ve just mentioned don’t happen…or they happen quite the opposite.

It’s like being in university all over again. I’ve always heard my friends, complaining about how their project-mates weren’t cooperating or were slacking, and they’d be the ones who have to bring the team up, etc. I was lucky that my almost all teammates back in uni were equally contributing, and if any of us sucked in our individual presentation, that was our own fault because we did our own speeches without consulting each other. So, imagine my major disappointment that some people at work are worse than university students in shared responsibilities/credit/failures.

I like the alone-time. The silence. Especially when I’m doing something that requires my full attention, or else, I’d beat myself up for having missed that eureka moment due to colleagues chattering loudly about the food they’ve been having to break fast. I like the active discussion. The enthusiasm. Especially when we’re doing something that requires each and everyone’s unique touch, or else, it’d just be a…flop.

So I don’t know which way I go. I think I’m more to the solo worker. But I crave interaction. It’s more fun and beneficial to have two or more working minds going at each other. Or maybe I just prefer the one-on-one because it’s “more” that way, no?

For instance, right now, I’m just finishing up work and I think I’m the only one left here in this building. I’ve got my playlist on, and I’m letting my thoughts run wild onto this screen. I find my mind works better. But, I find that I’m sighing because no one is here to share my sentiments with. Someone alike, but not so, to make the combo ever alive and active.

This is me, trying to figure out what I want to do as a career. How’d I do?

/E

Stability

Someone I used to know told me that instead of looking for a stable relationship, I should first stabilise my career, finances, and my own being. I was stuck with this thought for over a year now, and today, I realised something.

While having everything “stable” is highly encouraged, I was wondering what if I could not have a stable career and/or finance status? What if that would come as I age? Do I have to wait so long before being in a relationship? Of course the “my own being” is top priority, though. But what about the rest?

And what if my own being demands to always be on the move, to always have exciting moments? So my career can’t be in one specific long-term field. Instead, it’ll be something that is a roller-coaster with safety bar at most times because my being demands to travel and take risks. That would be bad for my financial status, yes, but money will surely come by. I don’t have to be so rich – just enough and a bit more to get me by.

Would I be able to get a “stable” relationship when my own being wants adventures, excitement, roller-coasters…? Of course I would. I will. For there is someone out there with the same dream as mine. :)

Chase your dreams, my lovelies!

/E