that Orchestra feeling

Brought my hoodie to work today due to the cool, wet weather that early morning. Put the hoodie on and started typing about non-conformities, land stuffs, and what-not, with earphones plugged in. In the midst of a busy office with my fellow colleagues around me, I managed to feel isolated. Alone.

And I chose to feel like so. My defense mechanism was activated that morning upon realizing a small but significant observation. I am a punching bag for anyone who wants to vent. Also, for someone who just wants to direct orders and expect me to accept them without question. ALSO, for someone to dig out the good in me and use that for themselves without much care. Maybe I’m being too sensitive. Sigh. One of those days?

Been listening to piano/instrumental music lately. Today, I looked up Alesso and Dirty South’s instrumental of City of Dreams. Added Alexandra Streliski’s Prelude, and Harry Potter theme song to my playlist.

Just. want. to. drown. myself. in. music.

I’m so glad I have my family to fall back into. I have my friends, sure, but it’s so hard to trust anybody these days. Always have those people who just disappoint and, well, just can’t be trusted once that barrier has been broken into. I’m definitely not saying I’m a good friend ’cause I hardly even keep up with my closest friends, who I barely see now. But it’s nice that when we do get to chat, it seems like we’ve been talking everyday. I miss you, Mandy!

I do wonder if people actually read this damn blog. I doubt it. Merely a representation of my thoughts in the online world. What a nice day to crawl under the duvet.

If there are people who read this, here’s an idea. If you can interpret what this post is about and would like to write to me about it, please do. There are many disconnecting and/or inter-connecting sentences in here, and I would love to know what you make of them.

Right.

Enough of this…

 

/E

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2 thoughts on “that Orchestra feeling

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