wild one

I’m not one to count but I thought why not and who cares – it’s my blog!

I’ve been single since end of June now and…wow. I was in a relationship for four years – so being in the state that I am right now, it’s quite…refreshing?

And very interesting, I might add.

I was reading my first notebook when I started working and there was a letter to myself about a guy I was falling for;

“At the back of my mind, I know that this is an infatuation. But at the same time, I do want it to be something more. What I’m afraid of ultimately is that I will end up giving more than I would be receiving.”

Booyah! I should trust my instincts more. Lessons learnt along the way, though.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda! Shouldn’t have been dating rightaway after the 4-year. Would’ve spent more time for myself. Could have been doing things I wanted to do from the beginning. Oh wells. Been quite down for the past several days. I’m not sure what I’m doing for myself anymore. Dying a little inside…bit by bit, day by day.

If according to society, I’m a damaged young adult. If according to Sociology, I’m affected by what people are doing around me, what I want people to see me as, what I’ve gone through in the past, what Durkheim (I’m just part of the society to function)/Marx (I’m a slave to capitalism)/Mead (constantly fighting “Me” and “I”) theorized about. Fudge; I miss Sociology!

I even printed out a whole working research paper on ISO9001 in terms of its benefits for employees and employers. Interesting read so far. I miss studying.

Come on, Em! Chase your dreams!!!!!

/E

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