I don’t really know what the title of this post means but doesn’t really matter. It’s just what I heard from someone at work, who was talking about which one do we hold belief on. Values, he said, are the ones who should take over priorities.
There’s so much that one can take. So much that one can think about. I know I think too much a lot of the times, so I always try to stop myself from doing that. But at the same time, I can’t decide whether that’s really what I wanna do or not. Lol. You see?
I’m at the point in my life where I think I should know what I want, where I wanna go. But with everything that’s going on, I don’t know what I want, where I want to be. I seem to analyse almost everything to try and understand which one is worth holding onto.
And I’m freaking scared.
It feels as if I’m starting all over again.
I’ve actually been so tired for the past two days. Well, I shed tears while in a conversation with a colleague because I felt so overwhelmed with what’s been going on. Tonight I shared a good cry with one of my good friends ’cause she was crying. Hah… Life, you frighten me.
One of the things I realized was that I’m trying to be good. To myself, to my family, my friends, my colleagues, the person who loves me… I’m much busier trying to make everyone else happy because that makes me feel happy. I know that their problems are bigger than mine. But I’m getting exhausted. So exhausted. I can’t keep on wearing this smile.
There was so much I wanted to just pour out here… But no. My head’s spinning.
I actually miss you. But I know I miss who I want you to be when you’re with me. You’re not who I want you to be, most of the time. So, it’s my bad.